“Don’t worry about it, maybe they’re just nonchalant.” Ever hear that from a friend of yours? Maybe you’ve even said it yourself. In any case, it might be best to check if the person you’re with (or someone you know) is avoidant or simply “nonchalant”.
One thing should be clear about the term: it is not synonymous with apathy. Understandably, it may trigger a fear in some people when their partners don’t instantly reply to messages or physically express their affection. To be nonchalant is to be calm, relaxed, and at times, stoic. Stereotypically, this person is quiet—not exactly an introvert nor antisocial, they may simply not go out of their way to socialize if they deem another activity to be better.
If you see this in your partner, it really might be their personality. Really, it’s not that bad. Let’s say you wanted to post something on social media, but you’re too scared of how people will judge you once you post. Your partner may be there to balance you out and say, “Why should they care?” Your partner would then proceed to compliment you, then letting you know that you can’t control what other people think of you. In short, they help you protect your peace of mind.
Their energy is most likely limited, and expressing their affections may mean bringing down their walls. When they eventually do show their emotions, treat them with care—it means they’re trusting you even more. “Nonchalant” as a trend could be harmful if people bandwagoning on it misunderstand its definition, especially if they think they can get away with emotional avoidance or unavailability.
Having a nonchalant partner means you have to be patient, but they also have to give the assurance that they do, in fact, reciprocate your affections. If your partner’s lack of enthusiasm is concerning, it is best to talk to them. You work as a team, not individually! Let them know that expressing emotions calmly can be possible, or initiate an activity each month. Take them out on a date and remember to wear your Jelli M1 masks (get it as a Bundle of 2!) when going out—the transparent masks definitely make communication clearer.
Nonchalance is not, and should not, be the enemy of affection. Ultimately, it is best to know your partner for who they are. You really should have nothing to worry about if your partner is nonchalant about things, because their demeanor doesn't necessarily equate to a lack of love or care. As long as there’s mutual respect and a willingness to adapt, you can navigate what it means to be with each other.
Image by ninikvaratskhelia on Pixabay